Thursday, September 24, 2009

Men in Blue and the 'blue' recipe for success

Will the Indian cricket team be given a 'A' certificate now ?

Coach Gary Kirsten's sex mantra to boost the team's competitiveness has at least one positive -- the players can make amends for a failure on the field with a solid performance off it.

Ever since the extraordinary document found its way to the media, it has become the subject of much amusement and discussion in the cricket fraternity.

No wonder, many teams now want Kirsten to be their coach.

Kirsten, a former South African opening batsman, has handed out a four-part document which broadly envisages an active sexual life and disciplined food and sporting habits, aimed at helping the Indian players on and off the field.

The document, the contents of which are quite unusual, looks back into India's history, its food habits and its lack of aggression.

"From a psychological (body) perspective having sex increases testosterone levels, which causes an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness.

"Conversely, not having sex for a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone level in both males and females with the corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression," the dossier circulated to the players says.

The document, jointly prepared by Kirsten and mental conditioning expert Paddy Upton, advice the cricketers 'to go solo' if they didn't have any partner.

"If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner or a few partners who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine. No pillow talk and no hugging required ... just roll over and go to sleep," the document advises.

No Indian team in the past had been given such an open license to indulge in sex during tours and it now remains to be seen whether increasing testosterone levels will actually fetch more runs and wickets.

I wonder what would have been the reaction of the players when they saw the dossier.

Well, even if the on-fields results fail to reach dizzying heights, Kirsten will at least be remembered for giving a new connotation to the phrase 'Men in Blue'.

Picture: PTI

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